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Joke of the Day

"Why do so many guys spit in urinals? Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener."

"How do Mongolians practice safe sex? They use a khandom."

"Why didn't anyone show up to Kim Jong-il's funeral? The reports of his death were unbereavable."

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"So, did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Someone stole my mood ring. I really don't know how I feel about this."

"Went to the disco last night... Went to the disco last night. They played Twist, so I did the Twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen, I got kicked out for that one.."

"Why dick has a sad life? Bcoz, his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him."

"How big would jupiter be if it was as close to the earth as the moon..... Pretty damn big (courtesy of my daughter)"

"If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though."