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Joke of the Day

"Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, ""Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"""

"How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to pick up the phone and call some other asshole to do it."

"Instead of ""the John"" I decided to start calling my bathroom ""the Jim"" I needed to workout more. Now first thing in the morning I always go to the Jim!"

"How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis... LADDER! I said ladder!"

"How many tickels until a octopus laughs Ten-tickels...... I'll leave"

"My wife took me to the most amazing 3D movie I had ever seen last night. Half way through it I realized: we were at a play."

"Jews rated their trip to Auschwitz. They all gave it one star."

"90s kids won't get this, either ... Psych!"

"Do people who bring bikes on the subway know about riding bikes?"

"So a man was reported as having a gun turned out to be an umbrella He was armed and while the umbrella was open rather shady"