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Joke of the Day

"What did the Leper say to the Prostitute after they finished? ""Keep the tip."""

"I laughed in r/funny"

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes harmonica."

"That moment where you playfully punch a kid in the grocery store, and only afterwards realize it wasn't yours."

"The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence."

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick So my wife can blow all the money she wants"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"That was the most exciting race between two stationary vehicles I have ever seen. #GreaseLive"

"If there are 2 things I hate they're... Incomplete lists."

"If I was a girl named Isis, I'd be pissed that half the people decided to change my name to Isil."