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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say ""oh, I thought she was already dead"""

"My buddy's PRETTY drunk... So I took the car key off of his keychain... He's been trying to start his car with a house key for 4 hours now"

"Dude got his foot cut off, poor guy had to give up drinking milk. He lacked toes."

"What did they say when Jett passed out drunk at a party? Jett crashed."

"My coworker who believes Jesus Christ was the immaculately conceived son of God who rose from the dead can't believe it's Monday already."

"What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?"

"Why do blck men cry when they make love to white women? Mace..."

"Why do hipsters love 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'? because it was the first Indie film."

"Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road? because it was stuck in a crack"

"Did you hear about the soldier who had the entire left side of his body blown off? He's all right!"