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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say ""oh, I thought she was already dead"""

"What do you call a group of white people A group you racist"

"My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her ""golden shower"" so goodnight."

"What do you call the misuse of a meme? A misdememer."

"When babies cry at movies: I hate when people's baby start crying in movie theaters. Bruh I didn't pay $12.50 to hear a reminder of how weak your pull out game is."

"*amateur magician does tablecloth-pulling trick, knocking everything over* Cat in audience: Oh, this guy's good"

"A teacher was fired for not letting kids out at the end of the day unless they gave her fresh coffee. It was grounds for dismissal."

"[running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Why does the communist party hate planes? Because they're always Stalin"

"I woke up to find.. the train I was on had turned into a Pencil. I didn't try to use the toilet though because your not meant to go whilst the train's stationary."