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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"What is yellow and lives off beetles? Yoko Ono"

"Kayne West says he's gonna be the next Nelson Mandela. Your wife is a porn star and your daughter is a compass. Take a seat, son. Merica."

"I might be overreacting, but being forced to scroll past other countries in a drop down menu makes me want to start a world war."

"Movie Idea: Michael Cera falls down a spiral staircase then pets a cat."

"Woman 1 - Your husband now comes home early. How has this happened? Woman 2 - I've simply told him sex will start exactly at 9 PM, with or without him."

"So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now."

"Justin Bieber should thank Elton, Adam, and Ricky for making his closet a walk-in."

"Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC."

"Where do you weigh a whale? At a whale weigh station"