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Joke of the Day

"What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary? Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator)."

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"A couple of dwarves got arrested... A couple of dwarves got arrested in London the other day. They got charged for possession of small arms."
"At my funeral I'm going to have a Sharpie chained to the coffin so friends can draw one last dick on my face."
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"How to have an unforgettable date? 1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it."
"What do you call it when 2 guys fight over a slut? Tug-of-whor"
"I'm sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn't really prepared for any follow-up conversation."
"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her."