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Joke of the Day

"Who died and made you king? Oh the king before you died. Well that makes sen- Oh he was your father. Well then I'm very sorry for your loss."

"How much does a cockney spend on shampoo? Paan ten."

"Not to Brag: Not to brag, but I own the world's largest collection of air guitars."

"What do I and Ronda Rousey have in common? neither of us can last more than a minute :("

"What do you call a redditor that doesn't use the search button in /r/jokes? A bastard. [Source](http://i.imgur.com/p16XxgE.jpg)"

"""There goes my Baby"" by Usher... ...is a bad song to play at an abortion clinic."

"A batman joke Batman and Robin are walking down the street. Robin: Hey Batman, can I tell you a joke? Batman: Sure, Robin. R: Knock, knock B: Who's there? R: NOT YOUR PARENTS"

"*buys shed at B&Q* B&Q: Are you putting this up yourself? Me: No, it's going in the garden. B&Q: Me: B&Q: I can't help you anymore."

"Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from? Me"

"ORAL SEX At this stage of our marriage, me and the wife only practice oral sex. Whenever we pass each other, we both say , 'fuck you.'"