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Joke of the Day

"What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life? "" Did you try turning me off and on again?"""

"*Goes fishing *Catches Spongebob *Hangs him on my wall as a trophy *Too lazy to buy a sponge *Uses Spongebob to clean toilet"

"Today I had a second helping of hummus. I was arrested for double hummus-ide."

"Dirtiest, raunchiest, most racist joke you've got: I'll start - What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn? Stop laughing and reload"

"Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*"

"How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Oops.I can't believe I broke the last one. I guess you'll have to sit in the dark."

"You want to hear a paper pun? It's tearable."

"Why couldn't the butter quit his gambling addiction? HE WAS ON A ROLL!"

"I'm starting a Kickstarter to bring a lion from Africa and let it loose in a dentist's office."

"Why did the physicist throw out his shag rug? He assumed the lawnmower was a vacuum"