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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does to take to screw in a light bulbs? NEIN, NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN"

"Our Uber driver is literally participating in our conversation as if he's a full-fledged part of it. It's odd."

"Guy in orchestra was charged with manslaughter Police state that he had a history of reckless violins."

"Why'd the British man cross the ocean? Freedom."

"Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. *Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.*"

"Can't believe no one told me that cows can't walk down stairs. Now I'm stuck with all these attic cows."

"M: HEY, DID YOU REMEMBER CONDOMS? H: FFS, use your inside voice M: *whispers* did you remember condoms? H: can this wait til after mass?"

"One obtuse angle says to the other, ""Oh man it's hot in here!"" The other one replies, ""Yeah, it's over 90 degrees!"""

"why did the blonde have a blue vagina? she didn't fully understand the label ""finger paint""."

"3 Trojans once tried that horse trick on a Greek city... Poor guys drowned in semen without ever being discovered."