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Joke of the Day

"What's the most political particle? *Elect*rons"

"I saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching Genders."

"My ex talked me into marriage I mean, she was my girlfriend before she became my wife"

"What came first the ch- Neutrino."

"I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep."

"My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: ""That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."""

"""WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME?!?"" - Jesus, at the first Communion."

"A bee jerks off all over some Cheerios. Its Honey Nut."

"Instead of buying a new pair of sunglasses I think I'll just randomly leave $100 somewhere."

"When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all ""Nice to meet you. Big fan""."