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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the award winning scarecrow? He was out standing in his field."

"I hope the Olympics has taught kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating."

"(NSFW) Guy walks into his house with a duck under his arm... He walks up to his wife and says, ""This is the pig I've been fucking!"" Wife: ""That's a duck."" Guy: ""I was talking to the duck!"""

"When I like a girl, I play it cool. I wait. I text once, wait 60 years, and then I die."

"Do you ever put an orange in your beer? Once in a Blue Moon"

"I'm hungry A boy walks up to his dad. ""Dad I'm hungry."" ""Hi hungry!"" ""Dad I'm serious."" ""I'm sorry serious, I thought you were hungry."" The boy then dies of hunger."

"Contrary to popular belief, everyone wasn't Kung Fu fighting, I was taking a nap."

"Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case... Doggy Sherlock: Any leads? Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two. Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies."

"If you ever really want someone to call back, leave them a message saying, ""I've got tickets to..."" and hang up"

"Dark humour is a lot like food Not everyone gets it"