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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm hyper observant Interviewer: You have mustard in your beard Me: Oh.."

"*licks ice cream cone Cone: I have a boyfriend."

"Being married to a photographer is depressing... ...they're always looking at the negatives."

"How did Harry Potter get down the mountain? Running!... JK, Rowling."

"Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now"

"Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days."

"Why do Asians prefer Sony? Because it's a stereo type"

"Q: What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop? A: Take me to your liter!"

"People keep telling me PHP is a dirty language... Until I shove a string up there asses and turn it into a multidimensional array."

"Two guys walk into a bar.. The third guy ducked."