112785

Joke of the Day

"Why don't we use some Fourier Analysis on our relationship And reduce to a series of periodic functions."

"I'm a vegetarian and when people say to me ""you know Hitler was also a vegetarian"" it always reminds me how many Jews I've been killing"

"When you have to poop so bad it comes out just as you reach the toilet... That's the shit I don't like."

"I finally understood the end of the 6th Sense All those names at the end were people who worked on the movie."

"Don't expect a ""bless you"" after you sprayed me down with your sneeze."

"I bet when the first guy wore glasses everybody was like ""Oh la de da, excuse me Mr. I Need TWO Monocles."""

"What should you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and say sorry!"

"There is going to be a merger between FedEx and UPS.. Yep, they're going to be called ""FedUp"""

"What's the best way to kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."

"The only thing I've ever made from scratch was dandruff."