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Joke of the Day

"No one wants to talk about Dracula's defining quality, turning into thousands of bats to avoid human contact."

"I sleep like a baby... With your mom's tit in my mouth."

"Roses are red Congress is red The Senate is red The White House is red welp Edit: insert communist pun here Edit x2: what the fuck did i just get gold for this"

"YO MAMAS SO POOR I SEE HER KICKING A CAN DOWN THE ROAD I SAID ""WHAT YAR DOING "" SHE SAID ""MOVING"" !!!"

"You know what cats don't like? Blow dryers. You know what's funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat. Anyway, I lost an eye today."

"""son, I've had to throw my golf socks out"" ""Why dad? cos you got... A HOLE IN ONE? HAHA"" ""No son. I killed a man. They're covered in blood"""

"Have you heard the one about the seamstress? It's sew sew."

"Boy: What's black slimy with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin."

"A new study showed... That crime is the leading cause of going to jail"

"What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? Rolaids."