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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter."

"What is a flea's favourite book ? The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !"

"Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich. She takes a bite and cries with joy. ""This is amazing! What kind of sandwich is this?"" She asks. ""It cheese ma."""

"This morning I mixed redbull with coffee to help me wake up. I got about halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car."

"My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!"

"Why did the black kid wish for a white Christmas? Because all his white friends got better gifts than him."

"I think cheese gets sweaty because it's hard sitting around being delicious."

"What's the best thing about screwing twenty one year olds? There are twenty of them."

"So Jesus walks into a hotel... Jesus walks into a hotel and hands the receptionist 3 nails. He asks the receptionist, 'Could you put me up for the night?'"

"An old Jewish man asked me for directions. I didn't really care where he was going, so I told him it was straight on until the third reich."