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Joke of the Day

"My daughter asked me to help her with her math homework so I had to sit her down and explain that breast implants are way easier than math."

"If there was a championship for the world's biggest loser, Hillary would take second place. Because she can't win anything."

"I regret joining the gym recently.. leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds"

"Alcohol is the worst thing in the world... My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying ""I love you"" to his Own Wife !!!"

"I can't believe after all that shit they're back together again... >who? >my ass cheeks."

"Earth's scientists have discovered that sheep are smarter than most primates. This explains why not a lot of sheep tune in to Jersey Shore."

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... because they always take things literally."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Cockinasoreass. (Better when said aloud)"

"How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes? (xpost r/imgoingtohellforthis)"

"How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur? Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE"