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Joke of the Day

"BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive"

"Two gay guys walk into a bar. One sits down slowly, the other pushes his stool in."

"[painting a picture of the last supper] ""Who's that?"" ""Darth Vader."" ""Was he 1 of Jesus disciples?"" ""I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."""

"I think the San Francisco 49ers should embrace their region's history and name their cheerleaders the Gold Diggers"

"She's a perfect 10 A 4 with a 6-pack under her arm."

"Find myself in the need for some really despicable jokes. Come on Reddit, do your worst. What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A Pedophile."

"Dentist: when was the last time you flossed? Me: bro, you were there."

"What's a peasant's favorite sport? Serfing."

"I almost got raped in jail one time. I tell you, my family takes Monopoly way too seriously."

"Just asked a girl if she was from Gotham. She said, ""No, why?"" I said b/c you look like The Penguin."