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Joke of the Day

"Opinions are like assholes... Fuck em"

"My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner. He's black."

"I was going to tell you about the people in the apartment upstairs... But that's another story."

"Horton must be a first base coach... Since he hears a who."

"Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary? He didn't want to be mainstream."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Stacy wanted to keep our relationship professional That's when I knew she was a prostitute."

"Melania Trump and this sub are the same Both like to copy stuff and say them again"

"I treat my body like a temple.. That's been destroyed by ISIS"

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."