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Joke of the Day

"Me and my girlfriend bought a copy of the Kama Sutra to spice up our love life... ... I just can't seem to fit it inside her. Shouldn't have gotten the hardcover version I guess."

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"Jimmy: Khaleesi, of course means Queen. What's your real name again? Khaleesi (Kristen Wiig): Karen"
"Knock Knock, Who's there Jesus, Jesus who, You haven't heard the good word of the Lord, I have some wonderful pamphlets to show you to the ways of God"
"A girl walks in on her boyfriend blowing his dick with her hair dryer. ""What the hell are you doing?!"" she yells. He lovingly replies, ""Baby, you just asked me to heat up dinner for you!"""
"[at library] ME: Yes, I'd like to Czech out a book on eastern Europe. LIBRARIAN: 3rd floor ME: Get it? L: This is dialog, I'm not reading it"
"""Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? "" Because they're really good at it"
"What supervillain do you know the least about? Loki , because he is low-key."
"Burned my Hawaiian pizza... Should have put it on aloha temperature."
"What do you call a black guy who discriminates against white people? A racist you racist."
"If a girl says, ""I hate drama"" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen."