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Joke of the Day

"I have the Heart of a Lion.... And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo..."

"Where did the dog find her husband? At the Groomers!"

"Donald trump The last American president was black, polls suggest that the next president will be Donald trump..... Huh. I guess orange is the new black"

"After we got the divorce she let me have everything. Except the jewelry, and of course something to keep it in. I call it ""the house"".."

"You say ""my ex is stuck under the back end of your vehicle"" like its a bad thing."

"Whats the worst thing about being dyslexic and having ADHD? You think you've got AIDS"

"BREAKING NEWS: Overworked Janitor Sweeps the Nation."

"My girlfriend's reason for leaving me was because she still hadn't found what she was looking for I replied with ""oh, U2"""

"""Not all guys wearing Flannel shirts are Lumberjacks."" *hits tree with axe* "" Take me for example. I just hate trees."""

"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""