106755

Joke of the Day

"What to say during sex * ooh * ee * ooh ahh ahh * ting * tang * walla walla bing bang"

"Do you really have to be skinny to wear skinny jeans or can you be a big fat giant monster? (asking for my big fat friend, Colleen)."

"Difference Between a Midget and STD? Ones a clever runt...the other is a running cunt"

"I'm a completely broke farmer. The other day I tried buying fertilizer on my only credit card and it was declined. I literally can't buy shit."

"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny."

"If you replaced Odysseus with Oedipus.. ..would a long series of journeys or wanderings be known as an Oedipussy?"

"Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin."

"My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now."

"What do you call a Norse god after a workout? Thor"

"[to widow] Great wake. Tho it should be called a sleep, he's not moved in ages. I say he hasn't moved in ages. Call it a sleep. Ah cheer up."