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Joke of the Day

"Ranger Station BOSS: I have reports that you treat the wildlife inappropriately ME: No way *porcupine waddles by w/ kebabs on each quill*"

"How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb? Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke."

"Told a female Redditor my dick was long... She asked ""we talkin' 'r/TIFU' long or 'r/Jokes' long?"" TIFU by saying Jokes...."

"A man started to throw words beginning with 'th' at me I dodge this, then and there but I didn't see that coming - Tim Vine"

"Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11? They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains."

"What did the scornful owl say? Twit twoo."

"What's green, fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table"

"Everyone worries about Pao. They should be worried about... Darude Sandstorm"

"How come I was wide awake while watching the Wall Street sewuel CAUSE MONEY NEVER SLEEPS!!!"

"what room zombies and vampires can't enter? the living room."