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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to report the police for damaging my luggage while searching my car But the case got thrown out of court"

"I dated a lizard once but he had a-reptile dysfunction so it didn't work out."

"*Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book! *Kids boo* *Someone in the crowd yells ""NERD""*"

"chocolate just tastes better when you pretend a fat German kid drowned in it"

"Ok, I'm finally off dairy. Next is sugar, then heroin."

"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."

"Why do cowgirls have bow-legs? Because cowboys always eat with their hats on."

"How is American Beer similar to making love in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"What did a constipated Watson tell Sherlock? No shit, Sherlock."

"Chuck Norris once screamed ""bloody murder"" in sign language for the hearing impaired."