105360

Joke of the Day

"Catch her by her waist... Bring her home.. Keep ur hand on her neck Put ur lips on her lips & have a ... ...nice drink...PEPSI"

"If kryptonite is Superman's only weakness, what is Supperman's only weakness? Leftovernite"

"i'm really nervous about getting my girlfriend's pregnancy results back... and i'm not even the one who'll have to raise the baby alone!"

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of pygmys? One is a cunning bunch of runts..."

"Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve bacteria here."" And the bacteria says, *""But we work here. We're staph.""*"

"What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection? If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it."

"It is true. Time flies when you are having fun. However it is also true that Time eventually rests on a tree branch and shits on your head."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that... It's a tie."

"You know what I love about being bipolar? NOTHING I FUCKING HATE IT!"

"Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer? It was a sting operation."