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Joke of the Day

"Came up with this years ago while waiting for my mom to wake up that morning. What happened when the bike ran over a nail? It popped a wheelie."

"I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license."

"Well this beer isn't going to throw itself up."

"My friend told this great lumberjack joke the other day. But no one was around to hear it..."

"I think my wife is changing our son's diapers too often. It says right on the box that they're good for up to 14lbs."

"""Do you wanna build a snowman?"" ""Sir, this is a Build a Bear shop."" *Pulls out carrot ""Oh, you brought a carrot. Sure, whatever."""

"In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes. And he's getting fed up with it."

"Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder."

"What do you call a blond woman who dyes her hair brown? Her name, you asshole."

"Ever meet one of these people that makes everything a competition? I've met more."