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Joke of the Day

"If you're not singing ""Hitler Baby one more time"" to the tune of Britney Spears' ""Hit Me Baby One More Time"" I'm sorry but you are now."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a battery? Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/how_many_feminists_does_it_take_to_change_a/"

"Jesus might love me but my girlfriend gives me blowjobs so religion is stupid."

"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."

"""Which would you like, a piano or a motorcycle?"" ""Yes."" (Yamaha)"

"What do you call a baby panther? a Newton."

"Fat people just want to get into your pantries."

"Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure..."

"A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, ""It's my carrion luggage!"""

"STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!"