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Joke of the Day

"I walk around in public saying ""wait for me guys"" so everyone thinks I have friends."

"Does your train of thought have a caboose?"

"What's it called when you backtalk someone so hard they die? A sassination."

"How are getting popular in high school and getting a college woman pregnant similar? Step one: penetrate the student body."

"Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog ""NO!"" and then more quietly, ""We talked about this!"""

"What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail."

"Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by?"

"Why wasn't Caitlyn Jenner charged with vehicular manslaughter? It wasn't her fault. Her tranny slipped."

"Rocket Ship Did you hear about the rocket ship that didn't go up to space? It had projectile dysfunction"

"Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting."