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Joke of the Day

"train me. no. train me. okay. training montage. the big fight. i'm glad you trained me. i'm glad i trained you. #everyboxingmovie"

"Scat and feces... Different names for the same shit."

"Life is like a penis Soft and free flowing. It's the women that make it hard."

"What do bees use to do their hair? Honeycombs!"

"What's the worst part about swim-up bars? The watery stools"

"US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today."

"if your best friend Jack was stuck on of a horse, would you help your friend Jack off a horse?"

"LPT: A quick way to find out if you're allergic to nuts Eat nuts."

"How does loose leaf watch TV? Paper-view"

"About 50% of the time ""good luck"" means ""fuck you."""