100712

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bird, and a bird with only one wing? It's a matter of [a pinion](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pinion)."

"Have you ever tried eating your watch? It's time consuming"

"Which president was the most logical? Lincoln. He made the most cents."

"Where do sad Ukrainians go? Crimea River."

"What do you do when an angry pack of clowns confronts you and tries to fight? Go straight for the juggler."

"Everything men know about women [ ]"

"A party without Vodka is just a meeting."

"My New Year's Resolution was to stop masturbating Well I guess there's always next year"

"Baby detective: These stab wounds here, they- *coroner covers the body with a sheet* Baby: OH MY GOD. THE BODY! ITS GONE! WHERE DID IT GO"

"He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory."