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Joke of the Day

"I was looking for hours for my thread on Reddit.. Turns out I was browsing with the popular filter :("

"(taken from my kid's favorite show 'Arthur') What is a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and Ships"

"What do you call a malady effecting reproduction in turtles? A reptile dysfunction"

"How to die with dignity. 1. Grab your dignity with your right hand. 2. Die"

"Dogs are great for meeting girls. Pack of dogs attack a girl she's gonna need to go to a hospital. Who's gonna drive her? That's right. You."

"If I had a time machine, I'd just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more."

"""Kill two birds with one stone."" When in history was there a surplus of birds and a shortage of stones?"

"Why do black people talk funny? They don't, it's a miff."

"What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities."

"What are a mathematician's five favourite numbers? 0, 1, e, pi."