humor Quotes

“I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.”

“He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled.”

“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”

“Age is not important unless you're a cheese.”

“I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”

“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.”

“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”

“From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.”