foxworthy Quotes

“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”

“My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.”

“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”

“I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.”

“My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.”

“I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.”

“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”

“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'”

“That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.”

“If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.”