carlin Quotes
Daily selection of quotes about carlin.
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
- George Carlin
“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.”
- George Carlin
“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”
- George Carlin
“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”
- George Carlin
“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
- George Carlin
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
- George Carlin
“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”
- George Carlin
“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.”
- George Carlin
“If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
- George Carlin
“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”
- George Carlin