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Joke of the Day
"What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend? Long time no sea."
Next Joke
"""Wow he's good"" -possum at the morgue"
"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"
"Second chances: When it just didn't hurt enough the first time."
"A spider so big you politely ask it to leave the premises & then sheepishly accept its refusal with all the dignity of a French surrender."
"-i am going to hell for this ""That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing,"" I said. ""I bet you want my cock in you."" ""Dave,"" my wife said, ""do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"""
"What did one atom say to the other? ""I lost an electron..."" The other atom asks ""Are you sure?"" First atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""
"A drunk was seen by a cop thrusting his hips every couple of steps as he staggered down the road. Cop catches up to him and asks him what he was doing? Drunk says...... Fucking nothing."
"Guess I should've left..""Guest appearance on Cops"" off my resume"
"If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you"