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Joke of the Day

"What did Trump say to Putin after he got elected? Well, Vladimir, urine for a real treat the next four years."

"What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own? A hue man."

"[first date] Me: *don't let him know you're the Mona Lisa* Him: You look nice tonight Me: *smiles ambiguously*"

"Every restroom says gentleman on it...since I'm a degenerate asshole I've been pissing in the trash cans outsidee them."

"What is white and lies in the grass? A shleep."

"My doctor said I need freshly squeezed orange juice everyday I cannot concentrate!"

"What do you call bad Mediterranean food? Falawful."

"Monorail joke I love making jokes about monorails, they make the best one-liners!"

"fred flinstone (my landlord): the rent is due me: say it fred: pls no me: i'm not paying fred: *sighs* the rent is yabba dabba due me: haha"

"What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman? The car salesman knows he is lying."