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Joke of the Day

"What did Trump say to Putin after he got elected? Well, Vladimir, urine for a real treat the next four years."

"What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel."

"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"

"New friend: want 2 go tanning w/me tmrw? Me: ok. sounds fun. idk where 2 get cowhides. do u?"

"Michelle Obama telling America to drink more water is the best plan I've heard for making racists dehydrate to death."

"Apparently Mr. Neeson's ""particular set of skills"" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped."

"Two men walk into a bar. First one says ""I'll have an H20."" Second man says, ""You know what? I'll have an H20 too."" The second man dies."

"My brother's on a seafood diet. Really? Yes the more he sees food the more he eats."

"I had sex with a chicken last night. It turns out the chicken came first, after all."

"""Keep busy, you should."" Yoda said. ""Make your Dagobah faster, it will."""