91982

Joke of the Day

"*steps on Lego* *stumbles backwards and trips over more Legos* *throws all Legos away* *Grandparents buy more Legos for Christmas*"

"If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. ""The hamburgers are good."" And, ""They don't have hamburgers."""

"Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders."

"I just want to make enough money to live in a neighborhood where Starbucks doesn't lock their bathrooms"

"What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"""sorry sorry sorry reallysorry reallysorry sorry"" - remorse code"

"What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common? They both won't be investigated very closely."

"Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party."

"I think my friend might be gay... His dick tastes like shit."

"Grandpa...why is there a suppository in your ear? Oh... THAT's where my hearing aid went!"