90172

Joke of the Day

"Brushed my teeth before my breakfast and now my vodka tastes funny. :("

"If I drank as little alcohol as I tell my doctor I'd weigh as little as I tell the people at the DMV when I renew my driver's license."

"A dark sense of humour is like food. Not everyone has it."

"Get ahead at the office by taking work home with you over the weekend. No need to work on it just make sure people see you take it home..."

"Before handing your wallet and wife's necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman."

"Fact: A lot of women turn into good drivers. Lesson: If you're a good driver, watch out for women who are turning."

"What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity? Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!"

"My doctor asked if I drink to excess. I told him I'll drink to anything."

"I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but... you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either."

"""I have a bloody nose"" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose."