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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs. God please don't kill Kevin Bacon."

"Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal: Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee: ""FIFA has an Ethics Committee"""

"Why did the chicken cross the playground ? To get to the other slide"

"What did the mushroom say to the chef? Don't eat me! I'm a fun guy!"

"A woman walks into a brothel trying to find work... ""Do you have any openings here?"" she asks the manager. The manager replies, ""Sorry, we have too many right now."""

"Somebody said ""hey wanna eat this apple"" and I said ""no thanks I ate a PC for lunch"""

"I'd rather see someone on the street coming towards me with a knife than a clipboard."

"Sometimes I leave a trail of pizza crumbs around the house so I can find my way back to the TV"

"Sometimes I gaze upwards at the endless stars that populate the sky and realize how small I truly am. I should get one of those pumps."