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Joke of the Day

"What has 4308 eyes, 28957 legs, and 398503 teeth? I don't know, but if you see it, RUN!"

"I recently got a rescue dog, but I'm not real happy with him. When I got lost while hiking, he was no help at all."

"You attract more men when you smell like butter, sauteed ham and onions than any expensive perfume."

"Painters wear all white while they paint like they don't give a fuck."

"What was the gay Swedish guys favorite thing to do? Give Swedish handjobs."

"What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris? Free Shots"

"Why does lightning only strike the French? Because it follows the path of least resistance"

"What did the dentist in the porno say? ""Your teeth are the whitest I've come across."""

"Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went."

"*nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!"