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Joke of the Day

"Hey people who say 'I want my funeral to be like this': what are you going to do about it if they don't do it like that?"

"When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button? When somebody says 'Well done'!"

"""Dad, I'm I want you to move back home rent free"" hi I want you to move back home rent free. I'm dad ""Ok thanks dad"" well shit"

"How do you help a Jew with ADHD? Send him to a concentration camp."

"""So what do you do?"" I'm a wordsmith ""A what?"" A writer. I deal with words. How about you? ""Oh I'm a uh... weedsmith"""

"Sorry in advance for the pun... So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu."

"The NYPD only does no-knock jokes."

"They say choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life... because that field probably isn't hiring."

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."

"Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People."