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Joke of the Day

"Hey Baby are you Rockefeller? Because I think we should Horizontally Integrate."

"I made you a cake. I also ate it for you."

"Started a pillow fight with my boyfriend, but I forgot that's where I hide my Oreos."

"I woke up with a horrible hangover today... I could have sworn she was beautiful last night."

"Why are gas giants always so happy? Because they're all jovial."

"What do you call a Muslim standing between two buildings? Ali"

"The first question aliens will ask our leaders is why that peanut is wearing a top hat and monocle."

"My girlfriend's dad wouldn't let us sleep together which is a shame because he's very attractive"

"Never hit a man with eyeglasses Use your fist instead. >Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing."

"Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car? A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out."