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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the artist Jackson Polyp? He could only paint with splatters and he hung out with some real assholes."

"Wow, you're a Sagittarius?? That must mean you're trusting, passionate and thick as pig shit to think I care about horoscopes"

"The 3 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work.. if you have a 2 second dog"

"Did you guys hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? He turned out to be a seasoned veteran."

"I don't know what fool first decided to put carrots in the cake, but they sure lucked out."

"What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash? Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon"

"Gay used to mean happy, then it meant homosexual, then it meant kind of lame, now it's just gay."

"Two fish are in a tank One says to the other: You man the guns, I'll drive."

"Two nuts were walking down the street.. One was assaulted"

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? (NSFW) I can't jelly my cock down your mothers throat..."