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Joke of the Day

"mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's ""Love Story"" in the car on the way over] me: Yes"

"What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you? Camembert"

"Sharp and short! **Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today!"

"I can't define ""pattern matching"" ...but I know it when I see it."

"Just asked a girl if she was from Gotham. She said, ""No, why?"" I said b/c you look like The Penguin."

"What do you call it when many people drown in Berlin? A killing Spree."

"I just poured my root beer into a square cup. Now all I have is beer..."

"What do you get when a vampire bites a goblin? A Hemogoblin"

"What did Robin Williams suicide note say? ""Sorry guys...I gotta go see about a girl."""

"How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it. [Source](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Germany_jokes)"