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Joke of the Day

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... and one says to the other: ""Does this taste funny to you?"""

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls. Owls who? Yes. Yes they do."

"""Does this uniform make me look fat?"" Asked the insecurity guard."

"The more I think about it the more I fucking HATE Rutherford B. Hayes!"

"I tried to be domestic & cook. Microwave is on fire. A waffle maker, 3 pans, a toaster & my neighbors cat in the trash. Making soup is HARD!"

"[Sci fi movie] How did you travel such a distance so fast? ""I went through a wormhole."" Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic."

"What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake of course!"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, those who do not understand binary and those who did not expect this joke to be in ternary."

"I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas... FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy. Edit: For those worried about the kid, it's ok. He was an adopted ginger, so no big deal."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because there's a Target around every corner."