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Joke of the Day

"2 deer walk out of bar... One says to the other, ""I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there."""

"Drinking alcohol before pregnancy can cause pregnancy."

"Dentist: when was the last time you flossed? Me: bro, you were there."

"I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her."

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that i have it."

"I just had my ass blasted.. It was an explosive diarrhea."

"owl friend Today, my owl buddy told me he was getting married. I replied 'you twit, to who?'"

"I bet Martha Stewart knits a really festive sock to wear on her wiener for the holiday season."

"Appreciation speech I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My fingers, I can always count on them, and the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets I'm here all week."

"""That's so Raven"" - Raven Symone's parents identify her body."