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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes ""*Whack* Damn!"" The skydiver goes ""Damn! *Whack*"""

"Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory? He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated."

"Things I learned from media: Sanders has won a bunch of states but must drop out Rubio shows he's a contender by losing nearly everywhere"

"You can get a free carton of ice cream at the grocery store if you eat the whole thing before the cops show up."

"What do you call a psychic who is neither elated or depressed A happy medium"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach a man to fish and he'll flop around on the ground unable to breath"

"George invited all his friends for a no-masturbation get-together They came within the hour."

"Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three? Because the signs all say ""No TRESpassing"""

"A psychic midget has escaped from prison Yes, we have a small medium at large."

"I just watched two mice screwing in a lightbulb But for the life of me, I can't figure out how they got in there."