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Joke of the Day

"When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!? Ah horse apples!"

"Women! They assume everything but the position."

"One time the top popped off my blender when I was making a smoothie. So... Yeah Iceland, I get it."

"Just to clarify: If original content is about Carlos Mencia, is it a repost?"

"My friend told me he was terrified of pedophiles... I told him to grow up."

"maybe ancient civilizations wouldn't have died out if they'd built regular buildings instead of these dumb ruins"

"A man walks down a street with his dog Stranger: hey that's a nice dog Man: yes but I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down Stranger: ah how sad, why so? Man: he's fucking heavy"

"What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A Basketball player."

"People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch."

"The best way to eat a salad is to order a pizza instead."