41731

Joke of the Day

"There are many people who are very self-aware... You know who you are."

"What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you."

"Hey baby, is your father a thief because he stole the stars and he put them in your eyes and also my TV is missing."

"People always ask me, where do I come up with my status', do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs."

"What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana."

"Why couldn't the hipster get off? He'd only masturbate before it was hard!"

"I came into a lot of money today. But now the bills are all stuck together :("

"[NSFW] I asked my roommate if she would suck my cock after I cleaned it... The dirty cocksucker said no!"

"I would love to go to the bar tonight but, people."

"A nail walks into a bar And gets hammered."