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Joke of the Day

"For something that has nine lives, you'd think this cat would spend at least one of them not being an annoying cunt."

"President's Day is just a holiday invented by Presidents to sell more Presidents."

"My Grandpa has a French rifle from WWII It was never fired, but it was dropped once."

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."

"How many feet do 2 black chickens have?"

"Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I immediately throw half of them away. I don't want unlucky people working in my department."

"The Joys of Hitch-hiking by Marsha Long"

"How did Trump win? He Trumped the opposition. It was Hillaryious"

"I experimented a ton in college. I tried naps in the evening, naps in the morning, sometimes even 3 naps in a row."

"I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding."