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Joke of the Day

"A woman in New York is suing a Manhattan salon for $1.5 million over a bad haircut. The last time I saw a disaster like that with clippers was Donald Sterling."

"Chuck Norris wanted to make jokes great again So he bought a trumpet for every time we make an horrible pun."

"I like my women like I like my golf score Mid eighties and with slight handicap."

"What gets wetter the more you dry? A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors?)"

"What's a storm trooper's favorite pollster? Pew! Pew! Pew!"

"Hi, my name's Ray. I'll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun. *misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*"

"Mexican magician A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof*... He disappered without a tres."

"Wait, there's a big difference. Did you say I look like THE Rock or did you say I look like A rock?"

"Do you play volleyball? Because you look like your good on ur knees!"

"What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble."